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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

"Misplaced", or: "The Reason, why girls never go to lady's room alone."

Overweight is to be imagined as a physical and psychical weight on the shoulders of a teen in todays generations mentality of desiring the perfect body. Just like poverty is in todays consumer society. And silence in such a world of business and volume. Misplaced.

To start with: feeling misplaced in this blog entry basically means being one person amongst hundreds, behaving or looking different from them.

The feeling of being misplaced in a situation, doesn't just solute out of appearance or physical features, in fact girls are so afraid of being misplaced in some kind, they go to toilet in groups! Yes, boys - reveiled the holy secret of girls everlasting herd instinct! It starts in school when you have this moment of "Uh... I neeed to go to toilet... Like.... Urgently... But what if the teacher is there already? It's gonna be so emberassing..." It gives you safety to have someone else who needs to go to toilet as well, because obviously in case the teacher comes or anything else happens. Growing up in a media generation, I know how annoying the feeling is, not to be up-to-date or not knowing what is happening or where to go, when you know you're supposed to go somewhere^^. That's why old women don't go to toilet in threes or fours - they don't worry about missing something. Or they might wear diapers. Or they may just be very fit and modern old ladies what do I know?

Anyway, friends used to be a center of information and company, people you just had fun with or serious talks too. Nowadays, there's another feature added in this list. Friends give you social safety. Their support and relaxation lets you forget how the things you say sound to others and bans the worries about how you look in every minute, every second. Fact is, most of us will spend around 70% of our time in public places with trying not to put attention on ourselves or getting into some emberrassing situation. Although, if we are with friends it might shrink to 40% or lower. Having a good friend used to be a psychical luxury, but in fact friends fulfill a certain kind of material purpose as well, they like your facebook pictures, they follow you on instagram and make you look good in any public situation. Fun fact: Phones do that to. I mean - of course phones don't like your facebook pictures or follow you anywhere, but phones make you look good in public situations. Maybe "look good" is the wrong term here, they will give you a purpose and a busy look. Phones, and friends.

Maybe the purpose and business is the critical point here. Well, the purpose of a toilet is obvious and you are definitely not misplaced if you go there because you need to, but girls usually stay in groups as well, for example in a party. It's uncomfortable to leave the group, since things could be missed while on toilet etc. In the moment of this annoying feeling in your bladder and you know, you are going to be seperated from the rest of the group for some time, you get the craziest ideas of them leaving for some reason or all kinds of things that could have happened and missed by you as soon as you came back. So you obviously want some of them to join along, because if more than just one person is missing, you can also rely more on the others not to leave.

Maybe this thinking originates from a decreasing self esteem beneath most of the people in the latest generations. According to my opinion there are few people with a very high self esteem, some who at least pretend to have a high self esteem and some who don't pretend, but still seem like high self esteem people because they walk in groups in which they don't have to worry about looking misplaced. The HSEP (high self esteem people) are those who in their deepest inner self aren't ashamed of behaving however they will behave. I also do think you can have too much self esteem just like you can have too little. Same with self confidence.

So apparently, overweight, poverty, disability etc. isn't to be defined as feeling misplaced all the time. It's really all about the self confidence. Be confident, they say. It's not easy though. It takes a lot of hard work to build up self confidence especially if you don't feel misplaced because of what you do, but because of the way you look, material and physical issues. Anyway, I will talk about that in another blog entry.

I hope you all have a nice day!
lg. Lilly;)

picture from here #stopbullying